Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"Guilty Pleasures": A Useless Phrase

I was asked to talk about "Guilty Pleasures"... what are my guilty pleasures?

Here's the thing, I have pleasures that I don't feel guilty about. I actually feel some sort of "pride" or "whatcho gonna do about it?" type of feeling. But other pleasures, I don't feel necessarily "guilty"...I just don't like to make it know. But I have noticed in today's world, people say they have "guilty pleasures" but never are truly guilty about having them. SO why waste your time saying you feel guilty, when you're not? Today's world is definitely weird.

I, Aubri Winsor, declare the phrase "Guilty Pleasure"....USELESS.

So my "Not Feelin' Guilty" Pleasures are:

:: ONE DIRECTION. Yeah, I can name them all, and I dream about converting and marrying Harry Styles in the Temple. SUE ME. They're all absolutely adorable and yes, if I was famous .... I'd be best friends with Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson. My mother was SO kind, she recorded their performance on the Today Show for me to watch when I woke up. My mother is better than yours. Do I completely jam out when their songs pop up on my ipod? Um,what kind of question is that.... DUH. My question is, WHO DOESN'T?!
:: BEYONCE. I work what my mother passed down to me when "If I Were A Boy" comes on. I cannot help myself. When I hear her songs, I become a diva....a lip-syncing diva of course. This pleasure has got me thinking, I'm pretty sure I was Sasha Fierce in some sort of past life. AIN'T NO THANG.
:: COWS. In 5th grade, I discovered my obsession. Black spotted, white covered animals who produce milk and are absolutely adorable beyond all GET UP. I love cows, I love petting their soft noses and I don't mind the smell of their feces. Do I like their feces? No, I'm not addicted to cows and you won't find me on "My Strange Addictions."
:: JULIE ANDREWS. If there is ANY celebrity I aspire to be, it's her. Maria, Mary Poppins, The Queen of Genovia?! I mean COME ON. And her voice? Don't even GET me started. Angelic. That's all I can say. I have read her biography, I have every song from The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins memorized and my Aunt Nettie gave me a Mary Poppins snow globe. I feel proud to say, I love Julie Andrews.
:: RAMEN. I don't like to cook, I don't hate it...but if I don't have to do it, I won't. But Ramen? Delicious and Delectable Ramen? FREAK YA MAN! The world is a better place because of Ramen. I mean, I'm pretty sure it has saved MANY MANY college students. Am I right? Or Am I right?
:: NAMING FUTURE CHILDREN. Ok before ALL YA'LL start judging, I don't know who I am going to marry and I'm pretty sure half the names I have chosen won't be used. I definitely want my husband's input since, well, making the child will be a team effort. But I love to think about marriage, especially my own! I love to think of my colors/theme, who will be there, what my dress will look like, who my husband will be..... etc. etc. etc. BUT it's my #1 FEAR not to be married in the Temple.
:: AARON CARTER. When I was 7 or 8 years old during Christmas time, my parents/Santa gave me a VHS of all of Aaron Carter's music videos/behind the scenes. OBSESSED. I'm sorry, he was adorable and his songs were catchy. And being a child, I wanted to marry him. Now he is old and definitely, well, not as cute. But he'll always hold a special spot in my heart.
:: JAY Z, KANYE, ETC. It is easy for me to get the clean version of a rap song and be able to rap along with the song in a matter of a week. Songs like that get me pumped up for the day and wake me up A LOT faster. I like Jay Z and Kanye....so what? I didn't choose the thug life, it DEFINITELY chose me.

So judge me if you want, I don't feel the least bit guilty!

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