Bird Intruder.

It's climbing in your windows, it's poopin' on all your stuff. You better hide yo kid, hide yo wife, hide yo kid, hide yo wife and hide yo husband cuz it's poopin' on errbody out here.

This ain't a random picture. Oh no. This is a picture of bird poo on my blinds in my bedroom.

(Aubri! Why is there bird poop on your blinds?)

I was sleeping peacefully yesterday morning, it was around 7:00am. My fat cat was in my room and I hear something fall, I look over but I just see her being stupid and laying there. (I obviously love cats *insert heavy sarcasm*) So I close my eyes again and fall back into Dreamland. Then I hear something even louder, like someone just knocked over my entire desk! I look over, the fat cat jumps up and a bird flys up and above my head. The stupid fat cat uses my back as a jumping pad to get this bird....which mean it has to dig it's claws into my back.

I.freak.out.

"DAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!" I'm literally screaming my head off. My mom comes running in (I need to work on my calls) and I scream, "THERE'S A BIRD IN MY ROOM! AND DAKOTA (fat cat) USED MY BACK AS A JUMPING PAD!"

I'm not a morning person. at all.

I am bitter beyond all reason. I literally kick the cat out. My dad goes in and I go to my parents room to try to go back to sleep.....but I go back to my room thinking my dad already got it.. nope. I open the door and the stupid, fat cat runs back in and the bird goes ballistic. I'm screaming....yes, very loudly.

Dad finally gets the bird and we set it loose.

I go back into my room and the bird left presents on various things...

GOODMORNING.

not.