Repairs.

So .... this isn't depressing .... I promise

I've been easily angered lately, and it's gotten to the point where it's TOO easy to become angry. I lashed out at my mom last night and I did this maybe 15 minutes after I prayed to Heavenly Father for help to get rid of this anger. I broke down in tears, I legitimately felt like a failure already. I don't want to lash out at people and I don't want to be angry - I want to be happy. I know if I keep this anger inside me, I'm going to be a terrible missionary and I'll also be a horrendous mother/wife ... and those facts scare the living daylights outta me. My #1 fear is not getting married in the temple and #2 fear is being a terrible mother. I feel like I can't control my anger and I need help ... I prayed last night again before I went to bed and asked for some guidance on what I should do if I feel anxiety, and I'm about to lash out. Well, I didn't get the answer right away but this afternoon my college class was cancelled and I came up with some ideas as I was driving around:

1) Go somewhere that makes you calm and happy.
 - Today I went to Petsmart, naturally. I love animals and walking around looking at the dogs, gerbils and wildebeests (I wish) just made me calm. I must have looked like a dork, not buying anything... just looking at everything - Psh, oh well!
2) Write a happy note to someone.
- I wrote a "I'm sorry" note to my mom explaining how I felt and how I'm going to try hard to control my anger. Sometimes venting a little can really help!
3) Do a random act of kindness.
- My mom LOOOVES Chick-fil-A chocolate chip cookies - 320 calories of pure heaven. I went to a restaurant nearby and picked up one for her. I attached the note to the cookie and gave it to her. It's so funny when she sees the cookie in my hands - her eyes LIGHT UP. :)

Those were some of the things I did today to help me be calm. I could have gotten annoyed because I drove all the way to MCC to find out my class was cancelled - but I didn't. I just found something to do to keep my mind off of anger. And that is my goal - DON'T BE ANGRY.
***For those who read my blog, I'll start to post things I have done that certain day that helped calm me down and if you have any ideas, please comment!!