This banter includes the words/phrases: Puberty, "time of the month", tampons, Acne, Cramps, "Voice Cracking"....
If you don't like these words/phrases, don't continue reading this banter.
Now, back to adulthood.
Puberty. (I know ya'll are shuddering)
We all go through it. If you are going, "I haven't!", then you must be, like, 6 years old and why are you reading my blog?
Through the beginning of our lives, we learn how to read (well, most of us), run, play, like boys, like girls, etc. Even as adults, we still are learning!! Our brain is AMAZING! So many neurological connections are made in the WOMB and the first few years of our existence here on Earth. But during that time of development, our body is physically changing. This is a very bittersweet thing. Because when our body changes, we either become a HAWT MAMA or DROP DEAD HANDSOME MAN ...
....or (like most of us) we become awkward.
One pimple turns into 1203 zits, and 1203 zits turn into a googleplex amount of blackheads. You're talking to your crush and being SUPER smooth with words, then your voice cracks and they start laughing. Your arms have grown faster than the rest of your body so now you look like a chimpanzee. You learn how babies are made.You feel like you're constipated, but no...Mother Nature decided to falcon punch you in your woman parts and you ruin your pants, you're moody, your parents take you out for breakfast "to celebrate your womanhood" and the waitress asks "What are ya'll celebrating today?" AND you now have to grasp the concept of tampons.
ETC. ETC. ETC.
Puberty, I don't like you!
I was one of those teenagers who COULD NOT SHAKE OFF THE AWKWARD. I'm still convinced I haven't shook it off. And boys? Oh GEEZ. I swear I liked every boy I made eye contact with while I was in Junior High. My body messed me up when I was around boys - I became so SO stupid.
AND THEN WHEN A BOY LIKED ME BACK....
Insanity. Pure Insanity. I was one of those girls that as soon as a boy liked me and told me, it was rare for me to talk to them. I was perfectly fine with talking to them through IM messaging (I'm so high tech), but in person?!?! Why would I do that?! I would not be awkward anymore if I did THAT!
*HEAVY HEAVY SARCASM*
-Face palm-
It's also hard, as a girl who LOATHES make up and had Trichotillomania, when every boy out there is looking at only girl's who lather their face with make up and had a full head a beautiful locks. I think that's another reason why I was so insane in Junior High. I just wanted to be NOTICED. Puberty screwed me up that bad.
I also think it's hilarious how "LIKE" is Love's awkward cousin.
Oh and then once every month, I get to crawl into fetal position and cry because it's "that time of the month." I don't like my body scheduling me for CRAMPS. I'm grateful they are preparing me for when I'm married and having children. But could my body prepare me by sitting me down, giving me chocolate and a pep talk similar to the ones NFL coaches give to their teams before the Superbowl?
I know boys go through A LOT during puberty, I just haven't been through Sex Ed since 7th grade...so I don't remember SQUAT. (I do remember how babies are made....which is fortunate for my future life)
2nd part of the banter:
Now as some of you may notice, this banter is pretty blunt. Welcome to Adulthood! This is a part of life. Now, should you go up to a girl who is visibly upset and ask if she's on her period? No, because if she is whether or not ...you might get your face ripped off. Just warning you. It just bugs me when I'm taking to one of my girl compadres with a boy in the room and I say "tampon" or "cramps" ... and they give me a look like I just said the F word or they leave the room as if I just offended their whole family tree.
I pray and hope that I'll have a husband who will be calm when I say the word "tampons", a husband who can take my mood changes once every month, etc.
TO EVERY BOY ON THIS PLANET.
If you shudder every time someone says, "Period", "Tampons" "Pads" etc., you need turn into a man quickly because when you're married, you're gonna hear that A LOT. And us, girls, need a man who can walk confidently into a Walmart to buy tampons for their wife because they love their wife and want them to be happy. If you want to be happy, make your wife happy and they'll do all they can to make you happy.
I'm going to bed.
PEACE.
It's also hard, as a girl who LOATHES make up and had Trichotillomania, when every boy out there is looking at only girl's who lather their face with make up and had a full head a beautiful locks. I think that's another reason why I was so insane in Junior High. I just wanted to be NOTICED. Puberty screwed me up that bad.
I also think it's hilarious how "LIKE" is Love's awkward cousin.
Oh and then once every month, I get to crawl into fetal position and cry because it's "that time of the month." I don't like my body scheduling me for CRAMPS. I'm grateful they are preparing me for when I'm married and having children. But could my body prepare me by sitting me down, giving me chocolate and a pep talk similar to the ones NFL coaches give to their teams before the Superbowl?
I know boys go through A LOT during puberty, I just haven't been through Sex Ed since 7th grade...so I don't remember SQUAT. (I do remember how babies are made....which is fortunate for my future life)
2nd part of the banter:
Now as some of you may notice, this banter is pretty blunt. Welcome to Adulthood! This is a part of life. Now, should you go up to a girl who is visibly upset and ask if she's on her period? No, because if she is whether or not ...you might get your face ripped off. Just warning you. It just bugs me when I'm taking to one of my girl compadres with a boy in the room and I say "tampon" or "cramps" ... and they give me a look like I just said the F word or they leave the room as if I just offended their whole family tree.
I pray and hope that I'll have a husband who will be calm when I say the word "tampons", a husband who can take my mood changes once every month, etc.
TO EVERY BOY ON THIS PLANET.
If you shudder every time someone says, "Period", "Tampons" "Pads" etc., you need turn into a man quickly because when you're married, you're gonna hear that A LOT. And us, girls, need a man who can walk confidently into a Walmart to buy tampons for their wife because they love their wife and want them to be happy. If you want to be happy, make your wife happy and they'll do all they can to make you happy.
I'm going to bed.
PEACE.
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